I feel rather brave sharing this. In one mind I want to keep things on a completely professional level, however there’s another side that’s saying “Hey, you’re only human, and you’re going through something big - Go on.. share, don’t be afraid, stay open!”.
Sharing joys in life is easy peasy… sharing the journey of grief though, is a whole nother story. Especially when you are still in the midst of it. But this is the reason I want to!!!
So carrying on… some of you may have read when we posted publicly, that 2 months ago we lost our unborn daughter, April.
We are 2 months into a journey that will last a lifetime, and I just wanted to say that we are doing really well!!
There are way more happy days than there are sad. But sometimes… like a day like today… …When your mind isn’t allowing you to feel sadness, your body then steps in and takes over to say “Today you will feel sadness, you will cry and that is A OKAY”.
I think of you Mother’s out there who have lost a child, alllllll the time. Please know that you’re in my prayers.
This experience is certainly enhancing my kindness and patience for humanity. And I’ll tell you just reason why…
The day after we learned that we’d lost April, I still had to go through the process of getting my body ready for labour. This meant (without going into detail) waiting 3 long days before I could give birth to our angel. During this time I had amazing friends who distracted me with such things as nails and shopping. My friend and I were at the mall and I was gliding along at a slower than glacial pace when someone in too much of a hurry coming the opposite direction told me to “get the F*&k out of his way”. The wave of this random aggression went straight over me thank goodness. But this moment (as OTT as it was) makes me think of all the times that I’ve been impatient with people on the roads, for driving too slow and such similar incidences. It’s encouraging me to use patience and kindness with people ALL of the time, not just when I feel like it… because you just never know what they are going through, just as this man didn’t know of my loss.
But not only towards each other, we must have kindness and patience for ourselves as well.
Something I’m still learning day to day! <3