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31 Weeks and Counting...

Written by Heather on November 10th, 2015.      0 comments

31 Weeks and counting...

The road to Motherhood:
Pregnancy is the most amaaaazing experience of my life. But it sure has come with it’s up’s, downs and dizzy spells.
I’ve wanted to be a Mother for as long as I can remember. To be caring and compassionate, a teacher, a friend and the student to a little growing human. A little human that you can call your own!!… What greater honour is there?
Children in one way or another have always been a big part of my life! I have a lot of wonderful and amazing little personalities around me that rock my world! Little personalities that I will always love with the deepest parts of my heart! … And now… it’s my turn to have my very own wee personality, one that will exceed my love greater than I could ever imagine! Our little human to call our own!

31 weeks and counting…

Fear and Patience:
I’ve currently been pregnant for 14 months. After the loss of our baby girl, April, at 24 weeks pregnant earlier in the year… There have been a lot of things to contend with, when you experience a tragedy and trauma such as loss.
Fear, fear, fear and more fear! Oh and that biatch called patience.
Patience is forever an endurance event that is and will test me in ways that I can’t even imagine right now… we will always have a love/hate relationship, but we are certainly more friends than foes!
And fear, you are a sneaky little {beeeep}! You try and hit me from behind when I least expect it and sometimes you succeed…. But never for long and I’ve got my baseball bat ready to knock you out of the park each time you try and contaminate my mind and the trust I have in my body.
I should actually be thanking you fear… for my determination to beat you, is making me stronger every day!!

Things I struggle with: We don’t know the reason why April died. There was no comprehensive evidence and we are okay not ever knowing. However, she did stop growing at 19 weeks and grew weaker and weaker as the weeks trickled by. What I started to notice during that time was A. the lack of movement, and B. the lack of growth in my belly. I just put it down to being tall and slender and ‘every baby & pregnancy is different’. …So this pregnancy, I've struggled when people tell me I’m tiny. It should be a compliment, and absolutely it is…but hey, this is the time in my life where you are welcome to call me ‘big’ and ‘tubby’… and I will gratefully thank you for it!!

I’ve got a lot to be grateful for, and I count my lucky stars for each and every one of my blessings! I’m grateful we are fertile and can conceive so quickly.
I’m grateful for God’s light and guidance that I will continue to turn to. The week before we conceived, He blessed me with a dream that I knew would be SO significant in the journey of our second pregnancy. I dreamed that “Everything will be alright this time” as I looked into my husbands eyes after rubbing my nice round belly. I’ve turned to this promise every time fear strikes and will continue to til the day our baby is born!
31 weeks on… I’m grateful for an active baby, who’s always letting me know his or her presence… I don’t care if it’s 10pm, 12pm, 2am, 4am, 6am and almost every hour in between… I love knowing that you are there inside me, Baby Boo!!
Finally (for now) …I am SO grateful for the constant love, uplifting words and encouragement of a wonderful husband (who has had his own journey with this), best friends and family who keep shining their light on Baby Boo and I!

Pregnancy is a real gift. Every child is a miracle. And I look forward to the day that we hold our little miracle on our exploding love filled chests.

We love you so much Baby Boo!!! xxx


Topics: Maternity, Personal